Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
