What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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