so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize