as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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