Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
