CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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