Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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