I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
