That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
