he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
