You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
