I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
