They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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