i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
