Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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