I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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