I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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