just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There r osticjed everywhere
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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