this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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