i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
