I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
