She said her name was "party"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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