You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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