you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
