i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
