By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
