I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
