kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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