she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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