ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
