Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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