You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
