No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
