i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
