You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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