I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
