btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
