Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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