Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
