she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
