If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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