I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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