North Korea, Best Korea!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
