i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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