omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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