i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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