I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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