WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
