but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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