I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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