Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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