For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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