soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
