Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
