Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize