I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
